Yesterday night I met with a friend who I have known since highschool. Her name is Jessica as is mine, she is born in june as am I, and she is SO MUCH like me as am I like her!
I honestly have misser her very much she was always a good friend to me, who was always there for me. But life takes over you know? And you just begin doing the things you are always use to and feel comfortable doing. I have 3 close friends that I have a lot in common with and Jess, I love her but me and her were not on the same page, so we drifted.
She heard about my mom and she wanted to catch up and see how I was and give me support as she always did. I always told her for a out 3 months now... I would come around to do somehing but the days for somereason or another just weren't working out for the both of us.
So yesterday, we finally met up for a coffee and a chat. I am so happy to hear that shes really happy right now and she feels like shes finally herself and complete with who she is with in her life. I found it so coincedental since I was feeling the same way in my life so our talk was really impressive. Her and I always talked about boy problems in highschool because that was the typical teenage life you know? I remember she dated a guy from grade 10 till a year after highschool and when she broke up with him she called me right away to talk about it and I was right there for her despite the fact that we actually drifted around then too. But that's the beauty of our friendship. We never grew apart even though we were apart.
She brought up her ex and she always thanks me for being there for her because she said that if I wasn't there for her that day she would have never made the choice she knew deep down was right for her.
I told her sometimes you need someone to there listen to you and for someone to just understand you inorder to move on foward. As I was going on about this..she was searching through her wallet..
I was wondering what she was searching for but I just kept talking. She pulled out a peice of paper with my writing on it and said, "Jess, I never got rid of this... Everytime I switched my wallet I made sure I placed this in my new wallet. I feel it has always guided my way with whatever situation I'm in and you wrote it".
At first I was like what on Earth is she talking about? What did I write? I recognized the peice of paper but I couldn't remember what I wrote as I wrote alot all the time. It was a poem I wrote in 2007 for her..guiding her to make the right choice. It had to do with the mere fact that Our heart and our Mind combat eachother so much we never really know what to do!! It's so overwhelminng....
I remember now when I wrote this poem for her I was thinking about specifcally her and how much she was going through while making a choice on if she should be in the relationship or not. It was a long poem I wrote on 3 seperate peices of paper. I can't remember the first two as she only kept the very last one in her wallet..But the last one says it all..
This was what the last page read.
...was all about you, and now im through and there is nothing you can do. My conscience told my heart that you were the one for me. But as I got my brain involved the thought wasn't meant to be. Sometimes when your mind thinks twice about your hearts desire, It's a way of saying that your conscience is a liar.
basically, the whole poem states that your heart and your brain intersect through your conscience and that you need to understand them both equally. Your heart may feel love for someone but maybe that doesn't mean your inlove. And the only way to understand this is to use your brain too and not just your heart. If your brain thinks twice all the time... Then you need to be true to yourself and do what makes you, your mind and your heart happy and alot of times thinking twice is just what one needs to make that right choice in life whatever it may be.
Jess told me that she does't just use it with relationships she said that she uses it for work situations as well or any other situation.
I felt such a beautiful feeling come over me,first that my poems have come along way :) and secondly, that she repected what I had to say. It made me feel wise and strong and more assured about my own self...
Not only that... Jessica made me feel like I actually touched her heart and I know that this feeling is right, well because...I didn't have to think twice about it.;)