I havent been able to write lately because I have been contemplating a whole lot. I feel like my whole life went through a whirl wind. And I knew that I had to take the leap. Although, I felt like I was going to be thrown right out of that whirl wind all alone... As inevitable as it was, I had to leap. I love all the people around me and I am blessed to have them in my life. But I needed to express myself to them for some reason. It just felt right. I talked to Handsome about a whole lot. And througout that talk I felt like luck was just not on my side. But after a few days, things got better. Alot better I must say.Not because of luck but because of love.
You know when your heart compels you to just let something go? well I did so. I needed to, and I got to see what love was truly about just by doing that. like a boomerang we both came back to one another at full impact. We are both still young but we know one thing, we will always have obstacles. All I know is that this obstacle that I endured was one obstacle that I know I won't have to face again.
This leads me on to an inspirational quote.
"If we don't understand the past we are condemned to repeat it".
That's one of my very important punchlines in life. And in this little moment, I needed to understand it and so did Handsome. We grew up differently just to generalize it all... But just like precious love birds; both flying different paths in life finally found eachother and continue their journey now flying the same path. Forever. Until one one dies off, so does the other.
Aren't they beautiful:)
... I took some time to think about my life and where I was at and where I am today. I find that I need serenity for this period of my time. And so doing, I thought of the one place I felt at eaze other than in the revine of my brampton home where nature was everywhere. At the bottom of my pool. I forgot how beautiful and tranquil water is to me. I love swimming. I swim every chance I get. But I lost the feel for swimming underwater because I hit teenagehood and let me just mention, blond was the "it" thing. Hence, I never wanted my hair to turn green from the chlorine! But my pool where I live today is salt water and my hair, well it's brown now so I began swimming underwater again. In this time of revelation... I felt I needed to visit the pool once again. Not to tan or feel a sense of relaxation, but to feel a sense of meditation. I stepped out my back door, stepped into my pool, lunged down and instantly felt peace as I swam from one end to another. At moments I felt like I was a peaceful creature swimming the ocean. no noise, no obscene dark objects, just beautiful, pure salt water. Call me crazy. But as I did that, I meditated. I found where my heart is even though that was obvious to me. I also found out why my heart is where it is. A rush and immense feeling of love streamed right through me just as I streamed across the bottom lining of my pool. I felt no anger, no sorrow, no insecuritues. Just peace and love. If I hadn't run out of breath I would have stayed down there way longer...
Meditating is a work of art. I suggest you find your peaceful place:) XOXO