Out Beyond Ideas of Wrongdoing and Rightdoing, There is a Field. Meet Me There.

Out Beyond Ideas of Wrongdoing and Rightdoing, There is a Field. Meet Me There.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Selfishness is a Virtue

most people think of selfishness in the crudest way possible.
for example: stealing candy from a baby, eating all the food in the house and not leaving any for anyone else... etc.
and yes, I too can agree that in this tense, selfishness can be toxic.

The selfishness I propose is quite the opposite... I actually just mean that selfishness is a virtue..Bluntly stated. But when you learn to think about your feelings for once... not just others.. and start to manage them in the nicest way possible so that you can do what makes you happy first and foremost, you built LESS hostility and then it becomes easier to understand others needs too...

for example: if you feel you are always trying to make things better and putting others before yourself... you may be on the same boat as me... and many times, it doesn't work because there are many people that just take that as a weakness and step all over you even if they dont realise they are. This is when you should be selfish and you will see why it cane be a virtue in itself. Start putting your feelings first and do what makes you happy...make sure you come first before anyone else.. I know some of us find that difficult because we always want to make others happy.. but its a temporary fix when you put someone elses feelings before yours... the next time they will just expect it again, and again and again. This process takes sometime and I am not saying I am the perfect teacher as I am too starting to be selfish too! Just try to do what makes you happy first and foremost. You will realise how important that first step is in order to make someone else happy too...

The word selfish has been abused... we constantly call others selfish in belief that selfishness is emulated in the crudest ways. Yet selfishness is never taken into consideration and how important it can be towards making things better for everyone!

yes, there is the selfishness that can be very wrong and crude... but thats not what I propose... I hope I enlightened you all that its okay to be selfish! be it! you need to...in order to make things work..... after all.. if being self-LESS is a way of putting people first and a very common way of showing love to someone, then being self-ISH must be the common way of showing love to yourself...

AND many of us have always accepted the number one rule of thumb in life which is... how can you love others if you don't love yourself?

Thank you bloggers for reading and commenting and acknowlegding all that I have to say! I think a whole lot... and I like to write out everything I think and feel.. I'm sure it will benefit me if not today... one day :)

so just remember...
Selfishness is a virtue!

lets just try to not abuse the word and see how valuable it is by showing ourselves some love ....and then others!



  1. Hi Pretty Girl,
    What a well written post, thank you! =) I never really thought about the word “selfish” in two different contexes before. Your examples made so much sense. You express yourself very well. I couldn't agree more, how can you love others if you don’t love yourself?

    Thank you for stopping by today and for the sweet comments…you’re the best! Lots of ((Hugs)) and Love, Liz

  2. Right on Missy! We all need to be selfish sometimes, we need time for ourselves, time to love ourselves. Sometimes people are very closed minded and just need to open their mind to see exactly what you mean.
    I agree 100%.
    how can you love others if you don't love yourself?


  3. Agree Jessica! You always have some thoughts that I never really thought of but after reading your blogs, I feel like "oh yeah...it's true..."

    Love this "how can you love others if you don't love yourself?"

    And I have been telling myself too, stop thinking others first and just do what makes myself happy!

  4. Thank you all for understanding:) xoxox! and I hope I help out even in the smallest ways from my writing :)

  5. You go girl! Have a happy day Jessica-Lauren. It's good to be a bit selfish every now and then. xxxx

  6. i get where your coming from, you mean more self love, and putting importance on oneself. But the word has a negative connotation which is probably why your friend took it that way. Lol I added my mum to bb, now that's interesting.

  7. youre right, thats exactly why she took it that way lol... and thats why I wrote it in my blog because many people take it the wrong way but we need to shed some light on the importance of being selfish and try to understand it in the best way possible... I know what Im proposing is still self love but selfish is no different.. its just the way we have all generalized the word selfish negatively that makes it different... so I totally understood my friend and anyone else who thinks of it that way... just hope everyone gets where im cmoing from here ! :)

  8. Thats amazing! my mom doesn't know how to use any form of technology...she has trouble picking up her cell phone when I call her lol!

  9. Sometimes you do have to be selfish and take care of yourself before you can help others!